urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser you were so young suchthe_loser 2007-08-28T18:31:26Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:78791 2007-08-28T18:31:26Z 2007-08-28T18:31:26Z last night was a great night full of randomness and no sleep. i had a lot of fun. still haven't slept though.<br /><br />it's been a great last couple of days.<br /><br />i'm starting to get scared now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:78564 2007-08-17T01:08:45Z 2007-08-17T01:08:45Z i don't know. i just don't know.<br /><br />i want to die, not leave. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:78285 2007-08-14T16:05:58Z 2007-08-14T16:05:58Z i don't understand how sometimes i just want to die. i don't understand how sometimes i make the people around me so upset and uncomfortable. i'm tired and i think i like Ativan too much to have a prescription for it. but if they hadn't given it to me i don't know how i'd cope. i'm weak. i'm weak and i'm tired and i just want to sleep and be medicated until september 2nd and then i kind of want to die instead of go away because i think that then, when people remember me, they'll think of me as sad but with a lot of potential, and not just as the fuck up i am. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:77992 2007-07-13T15:49:57Z 2007-07-13T15:49:57Z I GOT MY NOSE PIERCED AND I LOVE IT! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:77755 2007-07-10T14:02:03Z 2007-07-10T14:02:03Z i feel hollow.<br /><br />i feel alone and cut off from all existence. i feel like i'm trying to tread water in a wading pool and someone has cut off my limbs and now i have to be held. i can't call anyone. i'm not allowed alone time. i have to do what i'm told when i'm told because i don't have the means to do anything else. i'm tired of it. this is when i'm not supposed to be dependent anymore and i'm fucking tired of being told what to do and i'm tired of being called fucking names for doing what i want. this is my fucking time so people need to back the fuck off and shut the fuck up. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:77312 2007-06-14T22:47:29Z 2007-06-14T22:47:29Z i'm tired of people.<br /><br />i'm tired of everyone and i just want to be left alone to sleep and get my life back on track.<br /><br />YOU'RE NOT HELPING AND YOU NEVER WERE urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:77175 2007-06-09T05:19:41Z 2007-06-09T05:19:41Z i love...<br /><br />my graduation presents<br />the family that's coming to my graduation<br />mindy<br />katelan<br />krystin<br />mindy, katelan and krystin<br />sharing my bed with katelan every night<br />sharing my bed with krystin almost every morning<br />not having any more school work<br />warm rain and hot days<br />ashley (even though she doesn't call me)<br />having money in the bank<br />tans<br />losing weight<br />did i mention katelan and krystin?<br />mine and katelan's spot at the lake<br /><br />i hate...<br /><br />not knowing what i'm going to do in a couple months urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:77033 2007-06-05T02:26:45Z 2007-06-05T02:26:45Z new stuff:<br /><br />i'm thinner.<br />i'm tanner.<br />i'm over you.<br />i'm running myself into the ground and i kind of like it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:76546 2007-05-22T19:02:40Z 2007-05-22T19:02:40Z i have this huge knot in my back and another in my stomach and they just won't go away. i'm high, as usual, and i have a lot to do.<br /><br />leave me alone urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:76427 2007-05-13T00:25:21Z 2007-05-13T00:25:21Z i'm cutting ties left and right. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:76286 2007-05-02T03:51:02Z 2007-05-02T03:51:02Z someone tell me what i want and why i suck so much.<br /><br />i need someone. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:75823 2007-04-18T03:30:15Z 2007-04-18T03:30:15Z goddamnit i'm so fucking pissed and i hate everyone. i hate all of you and i just want the entire world to shut the hell up and leave me the fuck alone to do whatever the hell i feel like doing whenever i goddamn please. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:75736 2007-04-11T02:45:32Z 2007-04-11T02:45:32Z i love jeannie and i've been spending more time with her lately.<br /><br />i love rachel and we had a really great conversation today.<br /><br />i got into AIOC.<br /><br />yeah. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:75316 2007-04-04T15:56:25Z 2007-04-04T15:56:25Z ALL I WANT IS SOME FUCKING BREAD!<br /><br />but i'm in a pretty good mood and i'm on top of everything as of yet. i just kind of wish that when people are mad at me they'd actually talk to me about it.<br /><br />i'm sorry for being a huge bitch last week/end and just completely neglecting everyone. i had too many people in my house to think about anyone anywhere else. but they're gone now and i had a pretty good time and i'm excited to tell people about it and get back to hanging out with/talking to my friends.<br /><br />CALL ME UP! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:75071 2007-03-29T23:52:49Z 2007-03-29T23:52:49Z i officially suck.<br /><br />but at least my entire family will be here to tell me within 24 hours. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:74944 2007-03-27T19:28:35Z 2007-03-27T19:28:35Z i just ate some soup. it was pretty good. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:74600 2007-03-26T19:34:54Z 2007-03-26T19:34:54Z i'm so tired of this place and everyone in it. katelan and i were talking last night about getting out of here and how it will be okay even if we don't end up together for a while because we'll be on the phone all the time. she's my best friend right now and i don't know what i'd do without her. it's weird to think about all the time we didn't hang out during.<br /><br />i was going to go to the gym today and i still kind of want to but i can't breathe through my nose and i think i'd die if i went running. maybe that's just a cop out, i don't know. i'll go again as soon as my sinuses clear. and i think i'll go tanning with katie tomorrow.<br /><br />as of today i have three finished artworks and i have a whole bunch of photography and digital work and i don't know which to use so i have to talk to ms. elmore about it tomorrow. i really want to use all of it. i don't know. i think i'll finish another painting tonight. when katelan comes over. i have to organize my bookshelf for her too. and do some other little things. not too mention write AN ENTIRE FUCKING PAPER FOR THURSDAY! fuck me. i think i'll commandeer luis's computer this weekend to finish my college stuff and i'm really not too too worried about the other stuff right now. i'm in a good mood and therefore am confident it will all get done. at some point. before grades are due in. <br /><br />i HATE being sick. ughhhhhhhhh. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:74430 2007-03-22T19:50:26Z 2007-03-22T19:50:26Z i'm so tired but i have big plans for tonight so FUCK YOU TIREDNESS!<br /><br />i love katelan. last night i was talking to rachel online and she had sent me all these messages AND AN EMAIL which said that she was willing me to get online and ended, i've been sending you telepathic messages to sign online AND NOW I'M TALKING TO YOU BYE! it was great. i used to do it to. just think really hard that i wanted her to sign on and then she would. so then i called katelan to see if she was coming out and she asked if i was tired and i was like, i'm talking to rachel, and she was like I'LL BE RIGHT THERE! i love her so much. i love that i see her ALL THE TIME NOW! i just love it. WHY DIDN'T WE TALK FOR SO LONG?!?!?!?!<br /><br />i have to go pick eva up in a minute but i don't want to move yet. i was just thinking about how by the time they all get into high school and make new friends their friends won't know me and they'll all be like you have a sister?! it's weird to think about. yeah. and my parents will be really old when mo is in high school.<br /><br />tonight i'm supposed to go to the gym with jennie and luis but i don't think i can because i don't know when my dad's going to be home. it took jennie sooooooo long to convince me to go and now i might not even be able to. what the fuck?! but yeah. i really REALLY have to go get eva, so i should probably make luis put down the video game and go. <br /><br />maybe i'll nap while they're at the gym. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:74047 2007-03-19T00:06:10Z 2007-03-19T00:06:10Z sometimes i think there's something wrong with me.<br /><br />thank god i have katie and luis urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:73821 2007-03-13T23:46:05Z 2007-03-13T23:46:05Z i'm so depressed all of a sudden.<br /><br />what's wrong with me? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:73678 2007-03-08T05:30:57Z 2007-03-08T05:30:57Z I wrote one of my college essays tonight. It's about my grandma. I started crying while I was writing it. Mindy likes it. I guess those are good signs.<br /><br />ONE MORE TO GO! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:73269 2007-03-07T21:16:32Z 2007-03-07T21:16:32Z We got more bounce in California, we like to party all the time.<br /><br />Yeah. I have two essays to write and a lot of phone calls and trips to the post office to make but things are looking fucking good. Now if only God would allow me like a consecutive hour of sleep to refresh me everything would be running beautifully. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:73080 2007-03-05T04:19:19Z 2007-03-05T04:19:19Z starbucks just to go for a ride. lots and lots of water. two artworks. two EXTREMELY unhealthy meals. a lot of sleep. and the l word.<br /><br />today was pretty good. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:72870 2007-03-02T05:05:07Z 2007-03-02T05:05:07Z I need more. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suchthe_loser:72500 2007-03-01T02:05:27Z 2007-03-01T02:05:27Z I'M IN COLLEGE!!!!!